We all miss somebody
At that time is about 4am in the morning and I have no time to sleep yesterday, but it is a happy feeling I get.
Alas, many good feelings cannot last long. At half past four, Maam is again scolding me, and her face change, her heart change and she turns into a monster again.
Sometimes she is calling me a buffalo, sometimes she call me monkey, and other times my name is become smelly Kambeng.
On the skin I am laugh, inside I cry. I have so little sleep and at night it is so hard to sleep. The mattress is so hard, the air is so cold, and my blanket is so thin. Is Jamie thinking of me? Is my husband missing me badly?
It hurts me to have Maam constantly make jokes about my family. But I think Maam also is sad inside just like me. I sense she must miss her father badly. Everyday she point at her father death picture on the altar and saying Ah Gong is watching me because I am always bully Maam and Ama.
Even when she is laughing, I see a small bruise in her eyes like her heart is crying.
Always when I fall down and get a bruise, Maam say is Ah Gong's sprit pushing me down. Sometimes when I clean the altar, I get scared to feel Ah Gong is so angry, looking at me. Can he be thinking as well I am bullying his family?
I wonder, if Ah Gong see who is the big bully here.